Klez must die.

Grr. It was bad enough when I was just getting klez viral attachments in the email. But now I've started getting bounces from people who've been mailed klez viral attachments in my name. That just feels like...well, a violation. Why can't people just learn not to open attached files?

(no subject)

Sigh. Yet another reminder of how much I depend upon my PDA. I'm about to go out and apply at some more places for employment...and I just realized that, when filling out applications, I tend to rely upon its addressbook as a source to transcribe addresses of references.

So now I need to go get a notebook or something and jot down some addresses from the conduit before I go out and apply. I want my Clie back! :(

Jobsearch depression

Well, it's approaching time to pull on a decent shirt, grab my copies of my newly-shortened resume, and wander off to apply for jobs at a couple of places. I wonder why I find myself so profoundly lethargic when it comes time to do things like this? I find myself ticking up all the zillion little things I'll have to do, and wondering if it's really worth the bother.

Which is a silly thing to say--of course it's worth the bother, I need a job, and I've about reached the limits of how I can support myself with the limited resources that I have. But when I contemplate doing it, this sort of numbing depression weighs me down.

Nobody's ever going to hire me. I don't have the skills it takes to get a job. I don't know anything about the things I'm supposed to know. I should have paid better attention in class. I don't deserve this degree. My friends tell me that the point of college was to "learn how to learn," and that I'll be trained on the job, but what do they know? They program like naturals. Programming scares and frustrates me. If I was really any good at all, shouldn't I have been hired by now?

So goes my life.

I guess I need to focus on one thing at a time, or something, and just go out there to try to make people hire me. But it's hard to feel hopeful when one has very little confidence in one's own self-worth.

jobzausted

Went out and applied for tech support/web design at a place I'd seen ads for on TV a few days back. They said they didn't have any openings but they'd, yes, you guessed it, keep my application on file.

Dropped by the MissouriWORKS state employment agency thing, which my brother called yesterday to suggest. I was a little startled to realize I'd apparently signed up for it already, probably during my last round of jobhunting. There wasn't much to do after that, besides print out a few possible leads, so I headed out.

Subsequently, when I tried to charge a $3 purchase onto my debit card, it was declined...and a subsequent balance check revealed I had all of 43 cents in my account. I'd made more purchases than I thought I had, and down went my balance. I'm just thankful it wasn't overdrawn, that would be all I need. Sigh. I hate being without my PDA.

Headed back over to SMSU, filled out an application for work there, too. Don't know if anything will come of it, but hey, at least it's something. And I do have an uncle working for SMSU, so maybe that'll add to the likelihood of my consideration. Or something.

Tired...very tired.